a tip for new couples . . .

This time of year tends to bring about the best in people and the worst in people. It's a busy time and it's easy to get "caught up" in all the festivities and ignore the feelings of your spouse or set them aside as less important.

Let me explain what I'm getting at. Most families have Christmas traditions that they love and want to keep from generation to generation. Although this is a good thing it can also cause a lot of tension for young couples who are trying to decide how to make it all work together. I know of several couples who are so tired after the holidays because they had to go to each set of parents and a few grandparents' homes all within 2 days.

I'm not a marriage counselor, but I do know that holidays should not cause fights and that their are practical ways to avoid tension during this time of year.

My husband and I decided that we would not go to any one's home on Christmas day. We are our own family and we wanted to start our own family Christmas traditions. We made this clear to both of our families from the beginning. Because we made this decision together and informed our families it has never been a problem. I know this is not the solution for everyone, but I do think it's important that young couples understand that as a married couple you are a family and you must make decisions that are best for you.

I have several friends who alternate holidays with their families. One year they go to one family for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas and then the opposite the next year. This allows you both the spend time each year with your family.

Any solution that you come up with is going to be a compromise. You can't be in two places at once and you shouldn't try. Be upfront with your families and let them know that as much as you love Christmas/Thanksgiving the way we have always done it, you and your spouse must make decisions on what is best for your family.

Above all, enjoy this special time of year!

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Simplicity & Money Savers

Simple touches will add elegance to your wedding day without adding too much to the bottom line.

On July 31st, Jamie and Grafton were married. They had a simple reception that was very cost efficient yet elegant because they chose to highlight a few parts with some very nice touches.

Consider renting demitasse cups for a coffee bar instead of using large coffee cups or plastic. You can still use the cheaper plastic service for the food and other drinks. You could also rent china plates and real silverware for the cakes only. Again, this will add a unique touch, but it's not something you have to carry out through the entire event.

Re-use your flowers. The bridal party bouquets are some of the most beautiful flowers of the entire wedding. Set out empty vases at the reception and use the bridal party bouquets as part of the decor. Another money-saver is to use the rehearsal dinner flowers at the reception (As long as both families are willing). You can use the exact arrangement or re-do the flowers for a new look.

Jamie and Grafton re-used all the flowers from the rehearsal dinner at their reception by reworking the arrangement. No one ever knew.

Congratulations to Jamie and Grafton, it was a wonderful wedding!

Vendors . . .

I have just updated my vendor list with several people/businesses that I have had the privilege to work with this year. It is important that you are comfortable with your vendor so don't stop looking after just one meeting. Check out a few different photographers, florist, bakers etc. before you choose.

Ashley and Tim

In 2008 I had the privilege of being a part of Ashley and Tim’s wedding. I have asked Ashley and Tim to share a little about that day.

PH. Share some of the different elements of your wedding day.

A: We agreed throughout the planning process that the different elements of our wedding day must be intentional, not based on tradition or expectation.

Here are a few aspects we were intentional about:
- We recited the traditional wedding vows instead of repeating after the pastor. We decided to honor the vows that have been spoken for centuries, but we wanted to have those memorized and spoken fluently.
- We involved our friends and their talents. Barry Simpson and Aaron Phillips are close friends and our photographers. Sara Rogers Michel, an artist friend, designed a woodcut print for us to be used on the invitations and programs. Will Thompson, Tim's childhood friend, played with his jazz trio during the coffee hour, and four more artist friends hung artwork in the house like a gallery.
- We wanted the ceremony to look and feel like a worship services at the Journey (our church). We took communion--just like we do at church--and involved the church musicians. Those who served communion had mentor-like relationships with us.
- We decided to surround ourselves with our bridal party; they were placed in a semi- circle around the stage area.

PH. How were your families involved on your wedding day?

A: The entire wedding was a family affair. My (Ashley's) family worked really hard for days before and after the wedding. My grandmother and all of my aunts prepared all of the food for the reception. My uncle (Dale Frazier) was even found hours before the rehearsal digging up a stump in the yard! It was truly my dream day. It was a service from my family that made us feel humble and loved.

PH: What little things did you do to honor your family and loved ones on that day?

A: The bride's cake was an exact replica of my maternal grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary cake. I asked our mothers and the women who have made a strong impact in my life what their favorite flowers were; a blend of those suggestions were used for the bride’s bouquet and other floral décor. We used hymns that were favorites of our deceased grandparents.

PH: Who made up your bridal party and why did you choose them?

A: The bridesmaids were my two sisters-in-law and five of my younger cousins. It was important to give them such a special place because family lasts forever and I have always tried to share special moments with them. We hope our relationship is an encouragement to each of the girls. I also had five honorary bridesmaids representing close friendships through different phases of my life. Tim chose close friends from childhood and college. It was not important for us to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen (Ashley had 7, Tim had 9). We choose them with intentionality and purpose.

Why I do Weddings . . . the courage to “walk that aisle.”

In May of 2006 Rick and I were married. It was my dream wedding. We wed in a small white church out in the country. My bridesmaids wore periwinkle blue tea length dresses and carried one single long stem calla lily. I carried three white calla lilies, symbolic of our union with each other and God. The reception was held at my grandfather’s house, just a hop and a skip down the road from the church. It was wonderful to have all my family and my closest friends all in one place. I will never forget that day and all the hard work that went into making that day perfect.

At the time Rick and I were married I was working at a job that was a good job, but it was not the job for me. We prayed a lot during our first year of marriage about what God wanted me to do. In the spring of 2007 I quit my fulltime, good paying, great benefits job to pursue event planning full time, thus Compliments of You, LLC was formed. So what did this mean? Well, first it meant all of a sudden we had half as much money coming in; second, more money going out to pay for business expenses and third, no great work benefits. I will always look back on this time with gratefulness because of God’s faithfulness to us. God provided additional income for us through my husband by increasing his pay by almost double. WOW! God’s amazing! It was just another assurance that we were in God’s will and following the path He set for us.

It was tiring, but exciting to be running my own business. It was another lifelong dream that at age 24 I never expected to happen. The business was a little slow for the first year and a half. I did small parties and a lot of volunteer work trying to make connections. In 2008 I was approached about coordinating all the weddings at Broadmoor Baptist Church. I was ecstatic; this was it, my first break. I knew this would lead to more work and more connections. And I was right; now 3 years into the business God has richly blessed it. In our secular economy the purpose of a business is to grow and make more money. I want the purpose of my business to carry a little more weight. I desire that God will use me and the gifts He has given me to honor Him. I want to serve my clients and help brides with their weddings, but at the end of this life I want to hear from my maker “well done, good and faithful servant, you were faithful with all that I gave you.”

In the title I mention the phrase, “the courage to walk that aisle.” It took faith to leave the familiar and jump out on my own, not only for me, but also for my husband. When we are praying and actively seeking God’s will we will have the courage to “walk our aisle” whatever it may be.

For every wedding I am privileged to be a part of I realize that it takes courage on the part of the bride and groom to stand before God and a host of witnesses and make a marriage covenant. Walking down the aisle is a big deal and it should not be taken lightly. Let me encourage you with a Scripture verse from the book of John.

“These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Is it really 2010?

I feel as though it has been forever since I have blogged. I just wanted to give a word of advice to all the brides out there. If you're getting married this spring or this summer, it's time to really get into gear. I know most of you are on top of it and have everything planned and ready to go, but have you thought about purchasing your guest book, ring bearer pillow, monogrammed cake servers, toasting glasses, cake pulls, personalized napkins, flower girl basket, attendant gifts, parents gifts and musicians gifts etc.

It's the details that can be overwhelming, but if you start on them now and designate a "wedding" corner in your home; they will be there when you need them.

Another important detail that is often missed during the wedding planning process is working on your marriage and future together, yup you're gonna be married forever so begin now by talking regularly and spending quality time together.