This time of year tends to bring about the best in people and the worst in people. It's a busy time and it's easy to get "caught up" in all the festivities and ignore the feelings of your spouse or set them aside as less important.
Let me explain what I'm getting at. Most families have Christmas traditions that they love and want to keep from generation to generation. Although this is a good thing it can also cause a lot of tension for young couples who are trying to decide how to make it all work together. I know of several couples who are so tired after the holidays because they had to go to each set of parents and a few grandparents' homes all within 2 days.
I'm not a marriage counselor, but I do know that holidays should not cause fights and that their are practical ways to avoid tension during this time of year.
My husband and I decided that we would not go to any one's home on Christmas day. We are our own family and we wanted to start our own family Christmas traditions. We made this clear to both of our families from the beginning. Because we made this decision together and informed our families it has never been a problem. I know this is not the solution for everyone, but I do think it's important that young couples understand that as a married couple you are a family and you must make decisions that are best for you.
I have several friends who alternate holidays with their families. One year they go to one family for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas and then the opposite the next year. This allows you both the spend time each year with your family.
Any solution that you come up with is going to be a compromise. You can't be in two places at once and you shouldn't try. Be upfront with your families and let them know that as much as you love Christmas/Thanksgiving the way we have always done it, you and your spouse must make decisions on what is best for your family.
Above all, enjoy this special time of year!
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
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